Adventure #4: Engagment

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." - Jane Austen

July - September 2012     

    Now that we were in love, what was next? We decided to continue to date and let the relationship progress the way it was supposed to. Soon after we had told each other "I love you," we drove up to Ogden to meet Jordan's family. Jordan said they were excited to meet me after everything they had heard about me during the vacation in Idaho. I was excited to meet them as well. We spent the weekend with his family, and it was great.  His family was so loving and welcoming. 

     Once we got home to Provo, we started talking about each other and our relationship. Jordan said something like, "You know, I really think that this can work." I have no idea how I understood that he was talking about marriage, but I knew and he knew. By saying "this," he meant "our relationship." And by saying "can work," he meant that our relationship has a good chance of leading to marriage. Either way, "marriage" was now in our relationship's vocabulary.

     Again, we decided to not be too hasty and take our time. Even though we both wanted to get married, we took our relationship day by day.  We wanted to make sure that our feelings stayed the same over time - and they did. In fact, our feelings grew each day. It was amazing to experience. Everyday our love for each other grew stronger, and everyday we wanted to get married more and more.

     We often talked about serving a mission together when we were older.  In our church, members are given the opportunity to serve a mission as a married couple when they are older and have already raised a family.  Those discussions meant a lot to me, and it was also something Jordan had always wanted to do. It was nice to know that some day I would finally be able to serve a mission and preach the gospel.

 The drive to California.  :)

     Marriage became a very real option, and so we took a trip down to California so that Jordan could ask my dad for his blessing. It was another great weekend with family. We continued to learn more and more about each other.  And what we did learn only made us love each other more. My family loved Jordan. Being the only daughter, I knew it might be hard for my dad to let me go off and marry some guy. But since Jordan wasn't just "some guy," my dad knew Jordan would take care of me for the rest of our lives. My dad could see how much Jordan loved me, and how much I loved him. And without further ado, permission was granted and we were on our way towards marriage.

Jordan and I at the San Diego, CA LDS Temple

     We had gone ring shopping once or twice, but just to browse and figure out what the heck the four C's meant. Before we knew it, school started and Labor Day weekend was here! Jordan asked if we could go ring shopping again on the holiday Monday so that we would have plenty of time. The Saturday beforehand, we went on a double date with a friend to hike the Y.  After our hike, Jordan said he wanted to go on a drive up the canyon. To explain, there is a highway that you can drive on that takes you all the way around a mountain. Into one canyon and out the other side in another canyon.

     We drove while the sun was setting, and it was beautiful. Unfortunately, when we got a little further behind the mountain, it started hailing - and I mean hailing! We thought our car was going to be damaged because the hail fell so hard and fast. The weather was especially strange being that it was the first weekend in September. But nonetheless, we were still in Utah, which means the weather can change in the blink of an eye.

     While we were driving in the hail, we got stuck behind a truck with a trailer driving very slowly. Jordan seemed very anxious and wanted to pass the truck. But because the road was so narrow and the weather was bad, we had to wait it out. 

     By the time we got out to the other side of the mountain, it had stopped hailing and the night sky was clear. Instead of heading towards the freeway to go home, Jordan turned towards a neighborhood. He had told me a few weeks before that there was a swing that overlooked the entire valley, so I thought that 's where we were headed. 

     We parked the car and started to climb up a hill, but nothing was there. Jordan seemed confused, and I wasn't too thrilled about walking around in the mud with flip-flops on. We walked up another adjacent hill, and I saw a couch.  A couch? In the middle of nowhere? Hmmm... now that I think about it, that's the same couch from our apartment complex. 

     Somehow Jordan had arranged for some friends to drop off the couch so that we could sit and enjoy the view... but it gets better. 

    We walked up to the couch, and I see that Jordan's guitar and a bouquet of roses are sitting on the couch. We sat down, and Jordan asked me to play a song for him, which I did.  And then he played a song for me. He sang "Then" by Brad Paisley, and I cried like a baby because it was so sweet.

 Some of the lyrics are: 

I remember trying not to stare
The night that I first met you
You had me mesmerized
And three weeks later

In the front porch light

Taking 45 minutes to kiss goodnight
I hadn't told you yet
I thought I loved you then

Now you're my whole life
Now you're my whole world
I just can't believe
The way I feel about you girl
Like a river meets the sea
Stronger than its ever been
We've come so far since that day
And I thought I loved you then

     After the song was over, we just sat and enjoyed the moment. A few minutes later, Jordan said that he had lost his phone in the couch. I knew it wasn't on my side of the couch, but I humored him and helped him search through the cushions.

     I found something, but it definitely wasn't Jordan's phone. I couldn't tell what it was because it was too dark to see. Jordan (who had his phone the whole time) took out his phone and shone the light on the thing I pulled out of the couch. It was a missionary name tag with the name "Sister Brassell" on it (which is Jordan's last name). I knew immediately what that meant.  It meant that I would wear that same type of name tag after we had grown old together and decided to serve a senior couple's mission.  It meant that he wanted to spend his whole life with me.

     Before I could realize what was going on, Jordan was down on one knee with a little box in his hand.  I couldn't help but smile because I knew the words he would say next: "Kristen, will you marry me?" 

This is just a few minutes after Jordan proposed.  :)

    
    He put the ring on my finger (which was absolutely beautiful, by the way), and I hugged him until he was blue.

    We were engaged!

Adventure #3: Courtship

"When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew." - William Shakespeare

     It was June 19, 2012, and I had just submitted my mission papers to the bishop. My bishop gave me an hour-long lecture about keeping my possibilities open, which included marriage, and to not be closed-minded. Typical BYU; right? I thought so too. I walked out of that meeting thinking, "Why did he talk about that so much? I'm a month away from getting my mission call, and there's no way that I'll meet someone I'd want to marry before then."  

     But... it was only a few days later, June 22nd, when I decided to text Jordan and see what he was doing that night. I just wanted to hang out with him because we had had so much fun at our friend's cabin a week or so before. Within two minutes of sending that text (no, that's not an exaggeration), Jordan was at my door. He walked me out to his car, and then I suddenly realized, we were on our first date! Who knew sending a simple text would lead to that? But I'm glad it did.

This is when Jordan and I went to the Manti Pageant 

with our stake, less than a week after our first date.

     We went to the duck pond and talked for hours. It was so much fun, and the conversation flowed so smoothly.  It really was the first time I realized that something serious could happen between us. It was fun to be with Jordan.  We were both happy.

After our date was over, I couldn't help thinking about my mission papers.  I realized that sooner or later, I would have to make a decision between dating Jordan and going on a mission. I knew it would be a difficult decision because it would also be one of the most important decisions of my life. Because it was summer (and probably because I get stressed so easily), I decided to put off the decision and just enjoy the moments that were happening now. I decided I'd cross that bridge when I needed to cross it - and I didn't want to cross it anytime soon.

Jordan and I at the beach (and, oh, how we miss it)

     We spent almost all day everyday together because we lived literally 100 feet away from each other. We had already been good friends for about six months, but we got to know each other on a whole new level.  And it was great. 

     Not even two weeks after we started dating, Jordan had to leave with his family for a 4th of July vacation in Idaho (for a whole week!). It was hard to say goodbye, but soon enough he was gone, and then I was left alone with my thoughts.

     In the meantime, my mission papers were still being processed, and I was to meet with the Stake President for my final interview on the same Sunday Jordan was supposed to come home from his family vacation. With the interview coming so soon, I knew I needed to make a decision. It was either continue to date Jordan and put off the mission, or go on a mission and stop dating Jordan. 

     There was no logical way that I could have both. I knew I couldn't ask Jordan to wait 18 months for me while I served my mission.  I've never been the kind of person to ask such a sacrifice of someone else, especially when we had only dated a few weeks. I wanted to go on a mission so badly, but I wanted to date Jordan just as much. I prayed every night for what seemed like hours, but there was no answer. I felt good about going on a mission, but I also felt good about dating Jordan. I felt utterly lost. I realized that maybe the Lord wanted me to make the decision myself because both were good options.  So I did.

     After getting advice from family and friends, and after lots of prayer, I made my decision. I was going on a mission. (Remember, Jordan was still in Idaho when I made this decision).

     As soon as I made the decision I had a huge pit in my stomach. It was probably because it was such a big decision; right? I waited a few more hours and the feeling didn't go away. What was wrong? Maybe I needed to pray about the decision a little more? So, once again, I put off the decision and waited for a more concrete answer to my prayers.

     The next morning Jordan called me (he always has perfect timing) and asked if I would postpone putting in my mission papers. He said he felt like our relationship had some good potential.  But if it didn't work out, I could always submit my papers again. His idea made total and complete sense, and it was fair for both of us. I told him I agreed.  I also told him that when I met with the Stake President that Sunday, I would tell him to postpone my papers.  Jordan sounded relieved and told me he was going to come home early so we could talk about it more in person.

     Jordan came home, I postponed my papers, and all was well.... almost. I still couldn't get my mission papers out of my head. I had worked so hard to be able to go on a mission, and now I was setting it aside for the time being. 

     I asked my mom for advice, and she told me that in order to see if the relationship really would work, I had to fully commit myself to it. I couldn't keep sitting on the fence about everything. It was a lot harder than it sounds, but I finally did it.

     A week after Jordan had come home, Jordan and I decided to sit around and just watch a movie  for the evening.  As soon as the movie finished, I had an epiphany. A question came to mind:  What was it that I couldn't risk losing? Jordan or a mission?

    The immediate answer was Jordan. I couldn't picture my life without Jordan.  And going on a mission wasn't worth the risk of possibly losing Jordan.  I loved him. That's what it all meant. I loved him and never wanted to live another day without him.

     Within a few seconds of these thoughts (literally, I didn't even have time to talk), Jordan looked at me and told me he loved me. I started crying because I had just realized the same thing - probably at the same time he had. We were in love.

     Everything that was happening made me realize that the reason I had felt so sick about my brief decision to serve a mission was because it wasn't the right decision. Whatever the reason, I wasn't supposed to go on a mission (at least not at that time). My prayers were finally heard, and Jordan truly was the answer to my prayers.

Adventure #2: The "In-Between" Zone

"Where now? Who now? When now?" - Samuel Beckett   

     Our very first conversation alone happened towards the beginning of June 2012. I really needed someone to talk to, and Jordan was ready to listen. We went to Dairy Queen, and he paid for my ice cream (like a gentleman). Not only did he listen to me, but he gave me very useful advice. It was a great conversation (and longer than I anticipated, I might add).

      We did lots of fun things together with friends, including a ward laser tag activity (shown in the picture below). Slowly and surely we started to spend more and more time together with or without friends around.

Again, please ignore the ridiculous faces

(I am on the left and Jordan, of course, is the only guy in the picture)

      If it wasn't this conversation that changed things, then it was definitely when we went to a friend's cabin together. We were all seeking for adventure - yes, even I wanted to do something exciting. And when we were at the cabin, we decided to hike to a "haunted" cabin just up the road. We didn't go until night, of course; and we only had a few flashlights.

      Jordan had a flashlight. I didn't. So naturally I stayed close to him on the trek to this very scary cabin. Very close. We ended up linking arms, because just a few moments before, one of our friends had hidden in a bush and scared me. Jordan appreciated the gesture, I'm sure. ;)  We went to the haunted cabin and walked around the dark paths for an hour or so. Our arms were linked the entire time because I was ridiculously scared. Jordan helped the situation by separating us from our group of friends and pretending that our flashlight was broken. He knew I wasn't leaving his side any time soon.

    When we caught up with our friends, we all laid in the grass to watch shooting stars. While we were gazing at the stars, Jordan and I continued to have some great conversation. Our friendship was never the same after that night.

Adventure #1: Friendship

"A story has no beginning or end; arbitrarily one chooses that moment of experience from which to look back or from which to look ahead." - Graham Greene 

     It was January of 2012 when Jordan and I first met. My roommates and I were invited to play games with Jordan and his roommates. We all had so much fun. And I distinctly remember tears coming to my eyes from laughing so hard. From the start, it was nothing out of the ordinary (at least for BYU). Just a group of girls hanging out with a group of guys. We all lived in the same apartment complex, so it was pretty easy to spend time together. We played games, went hot-tubbing, ate countless slurpees, and watched our fair share of movies throughout the entire semester.

     By the time it came to April, my thoughts about serving a mission for my church had become more serious.  In order to serve a mission, I had to make sure that I was worthy and prepared to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ. It takes hard work to truly prepare to serve, and I wanted to make sure that I was ready. I decided to try to forget about school and dating so that I could serve the Lord more fully and not be distracted.

     It would have made sense to go home to California and put in my papers there - no rent, be with family, etc. - but for some reason, I really wanted to stay in Utah (strange, I know). So I did. I got two jobs to support myself, and I started my mission papers online.  And even though Jordan and his roommate also had plans to move to a different apartment complex for the coming fall semester, they decided to stay put for the summer. We did a lot of the same things we had done before, except now we had more time because none of us had school. 

     Taking a snapshot of our lives from that summer, you could say we were traveling down our own separate paths and loving every minute of our journey.  I was, and still am, an Elementary Education major from Southern California (yay Murrieta!). I love music, the beach, and chocolate. Jordan is a pre-dental major from Southern Virginia. He also loves music, the beach, and spontaneous adventures. We are both students at BYU in Provo; and, yes, we are both members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS or Mormon). And last summer, we both had a very clear vision of what our future held... or so we thought.

This was the very first picture that I could find of just us

(please ignore our ridiculously cheesy smiles).

    During this entire time, Jordan and I never had a single conversation alone. There were always lots of other people around. Of course, I had gotten to know him pretty well, but it was always in a group setting. I knew he had a great smile and a unique sense of humor. I knew he was caring and kind. I also knew that he had a desire to get married, or at least find someone to get married to (which scared me). He knew what he wanted, and he knew what his next step in life was.  I didn't. 

    I had never thought about dating Jordan because I was focused on a mission. He had even asked me on a date, but it happened to be the same day that I was flying home to California for a doctor's appointment so I could complete my mission papers. I said that I couldn't go out with him, and I never asked him about rescheduling. The thought of us dating wasn't a real consideration until something changed in June...